an obligatory ray of hope

I have few words left in my mouth. I want to write about something that hurts from within but I have lost the capability of letting go. So let it be.

I find it hard to accept death even though it’s the ultimate truth. Death of anyone, any kind makes me anxious. It churns my stomach and my empathetic mind places my heart in their position and begins weeping. Every loss becomes personal to the extent that I slowly turn into a stone. Numbness surrounds my body while I grasp for fresh air. A pain travels from my spine to the lower back, I sit and resist the urge to end.

What do you make of this?

Perhaps I am weak minded and have lost my ability of acceptance. Perhaps I am just exaggerating the sufferings of the world and adding more to my misery. You can think anything but you won’t deny my questions. You won’t skip reading further unless I drop a trigger warning.

It’s a slow process I assure myself while writing. Acceptance is the first step, understanding is the second. No one knows the end but in between the journey you can pause and rest.

There are questions that won’t get answer but a little kindness makes it easier to handle the world without any trigger warning.

©/® Sameera Mansuri 2020.